Around the end of the year and the beginning of the new year, I got sick for the first time in a while, and it left me feeling discouraged.
It felt as though all the health and strength I’d worked so hard to build up over time were suddenly collapsing right in front of me.
I felt sad.
Frustrated.
And even though getting angry wouldn’t change anything, I couldn’t help but feel angry, too.
Thankfully, my husband helped me get my strength back with his homemade umeboshi rice porridge and vegetable soup packed with vegetables. 😊
My husband’s special vegetable soup ↓
When I was dealing with chemical sensitivity, I also found myself getting caught up in every up and down in my health.
Even while I was recovering, I would sometimes suddenly feel unwell without knowing why.
I used to think, “It feels like one foot is always caught in an antlion pit.”
No matter how hard I struggled to crawl my way out, I would somehow end up being pulled back in again.
Over and over.
It felt as though I was going around in circles forever.
“When will I finally be able to get out of this?”
When you can’t see what’s ahead and can’t feel any clear sense that you’re making progress, it can become mentally exhausting, too.
But one day, I realized something.
Maybe it’s actually a spiral staircase.
When you look at a spiral staircase from above, it looks as though you’re simply going around and around in the same place.
But look at it from the side, and you can see that you’re gradually moving upward.
I’m gaining experience.
I’m growing emotionally, too.
But it’s surprisingly difficult to notice these changes.
Sometimes it feels as though nothing has changed at all.
When in reality, I’m moving forward—even if it’s just one millimeter at a time.
I’m climbing a spiral staircase.
I want to believe that and keep taking small, steady steps every day.
These days, I’m learning just how important it is to trust and wait, no matter what is happening.
Even when it feels like you’re going around in circles, you’re still moving forward little by little.
So, it’s going to be okay.
A spiral staircase.
I hope you’ll keep that image somewhere in the back of your mind.
Thank you so much for reading today. 😊