I used to be completely drained by poor health and the demands of everyday life.
But as I continued letting go of things, situations, and emotions that no longer served me, I gradually regained my natural energy.
I discovered things that I genuinely wanted to do, and I became able to cherish the things that truly mattered to me.
Of course, I still have days when I worry or feel down.
But I now have a sense of fulfillment that comes from feeling like I am creating my own life, and in some ways, I have even come to enjoy the ups and downs of everyday life.
I used to be swallowed up by those ups and downs, desperately struggling to pull myself back up.
Then, at some point, I realized that having ups and downs is simply natural.
The ebb and flow of the tides.
The phases of the moon.
Day and night.
The changing seasons.
Women’s hormonal cycles.
And so on.
Our minds and bodies are also constantly shifting and changing along with the natural world.
They are dynamic and ever-changing.
That is our natural state.
Being in good condition doesn’t mean “good,” and being in a bad condition doesn’t mean “bad.” They are two parts of the same whole.
Just like positive and negative, yin and yang, or the north and south poles of a magnet.
So when you’re not feeling your best, you don’t have to force yourself to climb back up.
Instead, you can relax your shoulders and allow yourself to go with the flow.
Once I realized this, I suddenly felt much lighter, and somehow I naturally began to rise again.
When I think,
“Something feels off…”
I try to tell myself,
“Oh well.”
“Maybe this is just the wave I’m riding right now.”
And I try not to resist it.
Resisting things consumes an enormous amount of energy.
And yet, I spent years resisting all kinds of things myself. LOL.
That’s exactly why I know.
The more you resist, the harder things become.
At first, I didn’t even realize that I was resisting.
But once I became aware of it, I started letting go of that resistance.
“Something feels painful…”
“Oh, I’m resisting!”
“Okay, I’ll let go of the resistance.”
The more I repeated this process,
the sooner I became aware that I was resisting,
and the less time I spent feeling stuck and overwhelmed.
“Letting Go” and “Filling Yourself Up” Go Hand in Hand
Today, I’d like to talk about the importance of filling yourself up.
I often talk passionately about how powerful it can be to let go. LOL.
That’s because letting go of things helped free my mind and body and became a turning point in my life.
And just as important as letting go, I have come to believe, is filling yourself up.
When I feel fulfilled, I find it easier to feel gratitude and happiness.
I can also treat the people around me with more kindness and compassion.
On the other hand, when I am running on empty, I tend to feel dissatisfied and impatient.
Naturally, it’s much harder to be kind to the people around me.
So I decided that if I wanted to take good care of the people I love,
I first needed to take good care of myself.
So, how can we actually take better care of ourselves?
First, let go of trying too hard and putting up with too much.
There is something I learned through my own experience with illness.
It is the importance of starting with subtraction.
When I first became ill, I rushed from one hospital to another.
I tried every treatment, medication, herbal remedy, supplement, dietary approach, and anything else that was supposed to help.
I was desperately focused on addition.
“Let’s take this.”
“Let’s eat that.”
“Let’s try this, too.”
I was truly desperate, so I don’t blame myself for it.
And perhaps some of those things did help to a certain extent.
But I didn’t improve as much as I had hoped.
Eventually, when I began to subtract things that didn’t agree with my body, such as eating out, processed foods, and certain chemicals, my symptoms gradually became milder.
After discovering natural approaches to health, I began practicing a whole-food, brown-rice-based natural diet, and I became even more focused on this idea of “subtraction.”
My body felt lighter than ever, and I became more positive and energetic.
I thought, “This is amazing!”
I became completely absorbed in it.
But about two years later…
My body gradually started feeling heavy again.
“I have no strength.”
“I’m losing motivation.”
“Something isn’t right…”
It seemed that I had become somewhat anemic.
This time, I needed addition.
Since I already had a foundation in natural approaches and whole-food nutrition, I began exploring a way of eating that suited me at that particular stage of my life.
Looking back, I remember that at the healthy cooking school I attended, YANATA KENKO-SHA, I was also told,
“From here, find the style that works for you.”
Since then, I have continued adjusting my lifestyle while listening carefully to the needs of my mind and body.
I have found that in many areas of life, the process of “subtraction → addition” tends to be smoother and more effective.
First, subtract.
Then, add.
The same thing applies to everyday life.
Things we do unwillingly because we feel we have to, or things we force ourselves to do out of a sense of obligation, can be exhausting even when they don’t seem like much. LOL.
Of course,
“I need money to live…”
“There are things I have to do…”
But what if continuing to do all these things means that I never get to do what I truly want to do with my life?
Stopping something we’ve been doing for years takes courage.
That’s why I think even one tiny step is enough.
Pause for a moment and ask yourself:
“What do I really want?”
“What do I want to let go of?”
“Then, what could I do to let it go?”
And then, let go of just one thing.
It can be something incredibly small.
For example:
Having a day without using a cutting board or kitchen knife every three days.
Shampooing your hair only once every three days.
Spending an hour alone at a café once a week.
You might think,
“Can something this small really make a difference?”
But I have found that these tiny changes, repeated over time, can have a surprisingly powerful effect on everyday life.
Once you let go of one thing, a little space opens up.
And what do you do with that space?
You use it to fill yourself up.
Things you love.
Things that are fun.
Things that make you feel at ease.
Things that help you recharge.
Things that naturally make you smile.
Let go of the things that drain your energy.
And in their place,
fill yourself up with things that recharge your energy.
As I gradually replaced one thing with another,
my natural energy slowly began to return.
Start with something small.
Try “letting go + filling yourself up.”
As I repeated this process, my everyday life began to change.
And before I knew it, even the direction of my life had started to change.
I have come to deeply realize that changing your life is really about accumulating very small changes over time.
Now I’d like to share some of the things I personally do to fill myself up.
There are two main approaches.
The first is filling yourself up from the outside.
Here are some things from my personal “Refresh List.”
- Stretching or doing a light workout
- Taking a nap
- Eating rice topped with katsuobushi
- Talking with family or friends
- Getting a massage or head spa treatment
- Reading at a café
- Playing the piano
- Exploring a new café
- Learning something new
One thing I like to keep loosely in mind is serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine—chemical messengers involved in regulating various functions of the brain and body.
Very roughly speaking:
- Serotonin: helps us “regulate” and stabilize our physical and mental state
- Oxytocin: is associated with “connection” and relationships
- Dopamine: supports our motivation to “take action” toward a goal
In reality, each of these substances is involved in many different brain and bodily functions.
So this is only a simple framework for understanding them.
Still, it can be useful to choose a refreshing activity based on how you’re feeling at the moment:
“Do I want to feel more balanced?”
“Do I want to connect with someone?”
“Do I want to get moving?”
For me, it looks something like this:
Serotonin-style refresh: “I want to feel balanced.”
- Stretching or doing a light workout
- Taking a nap
- Eating rice topped with katsuobushi
Oxytocin-style refresh: “I want to connect.”
- Talking with family or friends
- Getting a massage or head spa treatment
- Reading at a café
Dopamine-style refresh: “I want to get moving.”
- Playing the piano
- Exploring a new café
- Learning something new
Of course, these categories aren’t completely separate.
But if you keep them in mind as a rough framework, it can help you choose something that suits your mood at that particular moment.
Why not create your own personal Refresh List?
Then, whenever you suddenly realize,
“I need a refresh!”
you can look at your list and immediately choose something to do.
Without a list, you have to start from scratch and think,
“What should I do?”
That alone can feel like a lot of work, and you may end up doing nothing.
That’s why I find it really useful to have a list ready in advance.
There is actually another way to fill yourself up—not just from the outside, but from within.
And that is getting to know yourself.
The methods that fill you up from the outside have one major advantage:
They are easy to do and can have an immediate effect.
By contrast, filling yourself up from the inside is:
More fundamental, with effects that can last longer.
Ideally, I think it is best to combine both approaches and nourish yourself deeply, both inside and out.
Some ways to get to know yourself better include:
- Self-reflection exercises
- Self-understanding assessments
- Various forms of personal readings, such as Four Pillars of Destiny
There are countless self-reflection exercises available in books and through online searches.
There are also many free and easy-to-use self-understanding assessments available today.
And with systems such as Four Pillars of Destiny, you can even explore information based on your date of birth through books and online resources.
None of these is necessarily “the answer.”
Instead, I use them as tools for looking at myself from different perspectives and putting my thoughts and characteristics into words and visible forms.
“Maybe this part is actually true.”
“This part doesn’t really feel like me.”
Thinking about these things can become an opportunity to understand yourself more deeply.
And if possible, I also recommend doing these activities with someone close to you and talking about the results together.
In some ways, other people act as mirrors through which we see ourselves.
Learning about another person can also help us understand ourselves more deeply.
And more than anything, it’s fun to do together!
I once participated in an online course based on Adlerian psychology with a friend.
Through the exercises and discussions, I was able to reflect on myself in a fun and enjoyable way.
The friend who participated with me and I also became much more comfortable talking openly about almost anything.
We developed a greater awareness of accepting our differences and complementing each other.
The other day, I had tea with this friend, and we had an interesting conversation.
I love taking what I learn and applying it to real life, experimenting through trial and error.
At the same time, I tend to experience a lot of ups and downs and can easily become overly affected by whatever is happening right in front of me.
My friend, on the other hand, is the complete opposite.
She is calm, grounded, and steady.
For years, I admired that quality in her.
So I spent a long time trying to “fix” my tendency to go through emotional ups and downs.
But no matter how hard I tried…
I just couldn’t fix it. LOL.
Then I learned something surprising.
From my friend’s perspective, my dramatic way of living was actually inspiring. LOL.
It encouraged her to try new things and take action.
“Really?!”
I was amazed.
Something I had spent years thinking was one of my flaws—and trying desperately to fix—was actually one of my strengths.
And it was even helping someone I cared about.
Getting to know yourself helps with self-understanding.
Getting to know others can lead to contributing to others.
And developing an awareness that we can complement one another can eventually lead to self-acceptance.
So, after all that…
What I ultimately came to feel was:
“I am okay just as I am.”
“I have value even when I’m not trying so hard.”
“I don’t have to become someone else. I can simply be me.”
A deep sense of peace began to emerge from within.
And I experienced what it truly feels like to be deeply fulfilled from the inside.
Perhaps this is actually what it means to truly “fill yourself up.”
That said, getting to know yourself takes time.
That’s why I think it’s best to work on both sides—filling yourself up from the outside and from the inside—while enjoying the process little by little.
I believe that the process of getting to know yourself can itself become a healing and deeply fulfilling journey.
After practicing “letting go” and “filling myself up” in my everyday life, there is something I have come to feel very strongly.
In order to sincerely face yourself, the people you love, and the people you interact with every day,
it is essential to have some space within yourself.
Without that space, it’s like having a bucket filled completely to the brim with water.
Even the smallest thing can make it overflow.
You may become emotional easily or find it difficult to treat others with compassion.
When that happens, the people around you can get hurt.
And more than anything, you may end up disliking yourself.
When you’re in that state, it’s hard to truly enjoy life.
That’s why I believe it is important to first create some space in your mind and body,
and then use that space to fill yourself up.
In the past, I didn’t understand how important this was.
I neglected myself.
I thought what mattered most was doing my job and household responsibilities properly and fulfilling my role.
So I would push my body even when it was exhausted just to complete my tasks.
Even when I had no emotional space left, I would put myself last.
As a result, my mind and body eventually became exhausted and cried out for help.
And instead of being able to care for the people I loved, I sometimes ended up hurting them.
Of course, we need money to live.
And there are things that simply have to be done.
But I think it is worth asking yourself:
“Is this really necessary?”
“Do I really have to do this if it means I can’t be there for the people I love?”
“Is there another way?”
You may not find the answer right away.
But you can keep asking.
Everyone lives in completely different circumstances and carries different responsibilities.
That’s why no one else can create your way of living for you.
You have to create it yourself.
“Given my current situation, is there anything I can do?”
You have to use all the wisdom and creativity you have and experiment.
I think this can require quite a lot of energy.
That is exactly why we first need to create “space” by letting go,
so that we can regain the energy we need to face our own lives honestly and wholeheartedly.
Choosing to maintain the status quo is also a valid choice.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But if you feel,
“I want to take my life seriously.”
“I really want to change.”
then there is another path:
to seriously consider and practice “letting go” and “filling yourself up.”
Honestly, perhaps I have a stronger desire than most people to live a better life. LOL.
So I have constantly thought about what it means to live better,
and I have continued putting those ideas into practice.
I have also spent a lot of time observing people around me who seem to be living lively, authentic lives.
And eventually, I arrived at this:
“Let go” + “Fill yourself up.”
I don’t think this is selfish or self-centered.
I believe it is something worth taking seriously because it can help create greater happiness—not only for ourselves, but also for the people around us.
Taking care of yourself.
This deserves to be much higher on your list of priorities.
That is something I have come to deeply understand through my own experience.
Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end!
I hope this article gave you something to think about—even if it was simply,
“Oh, that’s one way of looking at it.”
If you have any thoughts or questions, please feel free to contact me here ↓
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