Hello!
It’s the season when hydrangeas are at their most beautiful ✨
Their stunning gradients of blue, purple, and pink never fail to catch my eye.
The scientific name for hydrangea is Hydrangea macrophylla.
Hydrangea comes from Latin and means “water vessel,” while macrophylla means “large leaves.”
Whenever I see hydrangeas looking especially beautiful in the rain, I am reminded of this lovely scientific name.
It seems that the rainy season has already begun in some regions, and we may be seeing quite a bit of rain for a while.
Part of me longs for sunshine, but before the blazing heat of summer arrives, this may be a precious time to slow down and take a breather 😊
Rainy days naturally turn our attention inward, making them perfect for reading and self-reflection.
In today’s information-saturated world, our attention is often directed outward, so this season may offer a good opportunity to slow our pace a little and reconnect with ourselves.
Today, I’d like to share some thoughts I’ve had recently about the value of turning our awareness inward.
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Looking Within Helps You See Yourself More Clearly
We often hear the phrase “live authentically” or “be yourself.”
But when we stop and think about it, “being yourself” can be surprisingly vague.
That’s only natural.
The values and sensitivities that shape who we are are countless.
For me, the joy of self-reflection lies in discovering them one by one, as if carefully gathering hidden treasures.
For the past six months or so, I’ve maintained a habit of writing down my thoughts and feelings in a notebook.
I simply record:
“What did I feel, and how did I feel it?”
I write honestly and openly, including emotions that might be considered negative.
In the past, I carried the belief that “negative = bad,” so I would suppress those feelings, ignore them, or immediately try to turn them into something positive.
For example, if I thought, “I’m feeling a little down today,” I would pretend to be cheerful or try hard to lift my mood with music or snacks. (Laughs)
That version of myself was doing her best, and in a way, quite lovable.
But the things we pretend not to see never really disappear 😂
Even if we forget about them for a while, they eventually show up again.
Wanting to feel energetic and positive all the time is completely natural.
But I’ve come to think that being energetic all the time may actually be unnatural.
Temperatures fluctuate.
Atmospheric pressure rises and falls.
The moon waxes and wanes.
The tides ebb and flow.
Women’s hormones move in cycles.
Everything moves in waves. Nothing remains constant.
Trying to eliminate those waves is exhausting—and probably impossible.
So rather than fighting them, it’s much easier and more enjoyable to ride them.
To do that, we first need to recognize and feel them.
Both good feelings and unpleasant feelings are simply different parts of the same continuous wave, and both deserve to be experienced equally.
As I continued this practice, certain keywords began to emerge.
Keywords that appeared when I felt good:
Immersion, fulfillment, walking, laundry, cleaning, teaching, delicious food, sunshine, rain, journaling, shrines, laughter, sleep, clarity, orderliness, warmth, and so on.
Keywords that appeared when I felt bad:
Allergies, itching, pain, indigestion, menstruation, acne, desk work, cold weather, feeling chilled, heat, trains, and so on.
What these keywords revealed about me:
- I feel fulfilled when I’m deeply engaged in something.
- I prefer being outdoors and walking around rather than staying at home.
- I enjoy laundry and cleaning.
- Interestingly, cooking never appeared among the household tasks I enjoy.
- I feel energized when teaching classes.
- I love eating, sleeping, and laughing.
- I enjoy the feeling of clarity and order.
- Physical discomfort affects me strongly.
- I struggle with sitting for long periods.
- I don’t do well with extreme cold or heat.
- Traveling by train or other forms of transportation can be stressful for me.
That’s actually quite a lot!
Each point may seem small on its own.
But I believe these small things accumulate to shape our lives and greatly influence our sense of happiness.
It’s an interesting exercise, so if you feel inspired, give it a try.
Even making quick notes on your phone whenever something stands out can work wonderfully.
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Looking Within Makes Relationships Smoother
What is the benefit of understanding yourself more clearly?
One major benefit is that relationships become smoother.
Why?
Because your communication improves.
Simply put, you become better at expressing:
“This is who I am.”
When you can communicate that accurately, misunderstandings decrease.
For example, if I tell someone:
“I enjoy cleaning and doing laundry, but cooking feels like a chore to me,”
they might respond:
“Then why don’t we take a break from cooking sometimes and eat out instead?”
Of course, if we only insist on our own preferences, communication becomes one-sided.
We also need to understand the other person.
By learning about their preferences and feelings, we can have conversations like:
“Then shall we go to that restaurant?”
or
“I’m not really in the mood to eat out today—how about we just have a simple salad?”
These may seem like small things, but often both people assume they know what the other is thinking and end up doing things that neither person actually wants.
(The concept known as the “Abilene Paradox” offers an interesting perspective on this.)
When people regularly share their honest feelings with one another, friction and stress can decrease dramatically.
I used to think communication skills were simply about being good at talking.
But now I believe true communication consists of two parts:
Knowing yourself and expressing yourself honestly.
And
Knowing others and accepting them as they are.
When relationships become long-term—whether with family members or close friends—we sometimes take one another for granted.
We may stop making the effort to express ourselves clearly or to truly understand the other person.
If you’re feeling frustrated or unsettled about a relationship, I recommend starting with understanding yourself.
Sometimes the issue isn’t the relationship itself, but rather that we don’t fully understand our own feelings, making effective communication difficult.
Then, from there, try to understand the other person as well.
If you’re thinking, “I’m not that interested in people—it sounds like too much work,” perhaps you’re also somewhat disconnected from your own inner world.
The busyness of modern life may play a role in that too.
That’s why I think it’s worth making the most of the gift of rainy days, which naturally invite us inward.
Slow down just a little more than usual and spend some time in conversation with yourself 😊
Thank you for reading all the way to the end!
The weather is still a bit chilly, so please take good care of yourself 🍀
