Hello!
The weather is finally starting to feel like full spring—so warm and pleasant!
That said, it’s still chilly in the mornings and evenings, so please make sure to keep yourself warm during those times.
Today, I’d like to share one of my personal experiences about letting go.
It all started with allergies, which led me to let go of physical things.
From there, I began releasing aspects of my life—housework, work, habits, and even relationships.
Eventually, I also let go of inner attachments and limiting beliefs.
As a result, both my mind and body became lighter, and life has become much easier to live.
I hope this story might offer even a small hint or insight for those of you reading it 😊
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<A “Temporary Life”>
“I’ll be happy once I recover from my illness.”
“I’ll be happy once I can work.”
“I’ll be happy once I have children.”
This is how I used to think.
So I worked hard—trying to heal my illness, finding ways to keep working, and putting effort into trying to conceive.
But things didn’t go as I had hoped.
“Why is it only me?”
I would feel discouraged.
“When will I finally be free from this suffering?”
I would feel frustrated.
I always had the sense that I was living a “temporary life.”
I believed that once my “if only…” conditions were fulfilled, my real life would finally begin.
Because of that, I rarely felt happiness, and I never truly felt like I was fully living.
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<Realizing the Conditions We Place on Ourselves>
The mindset of “I’ll be happy if…” felt so natural that I wasn’t even aware of it.
It seemed completely normal to think:
“I’ll be happy if I get good grades.”
“I’ll be happy if I get into the university I want.”
“I’ll be happy if I get a good job.”
“I’ll be happy if I get married.”
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this.
Imagining what you want and taking action toward it is perfectly natural.
However, when it turns into:
“I can’t be happy unless this happens,”
that’s when it becomes painful.
Without realizing it, we impose all sorts of conditions on ourselves, bind ourselves, and push ourselves forward out of a sense of lack.
And suddenly, life becomes much harder.
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<There Is No Fixed “State” of Happiness>
As I reflected on how I wanted to live, I remembered something.
When I attended a healthy cooking class because I wanted to study natural healing, I met people who were living vibrantly even while dealing with illness.
Their eyes were bright, full of life and strength.
Illness did not equal unhappiness.
I still remember my teacher saying:
“Don’t let your heart become sick, too!”
In the same way:
Being healthy doesn’t automatically mean happiness.
Being able to work doesn’t automatically mean happiness.
Having children doesn’t automatically mean happiness.
A situation itself doesn’t determine happiness or unhappiness.
Even in the same situation, some people feel happy while others do not.
And even when we obtain what we desire and feel happy for a moment, that feeling often fades—and we begin chasing the next “I’ll be happy if…”
In that cycle, happiness becomes just a fleeting moment, while most of our time is spent chasing it.
If you enjoy that pursuit, there’s no problem.
But if it feels painful, it might be worth letting go of the belief that “I’ll be happy if…”
Happiness isn’t something you become—it’s something you feel.
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<Desiring While Feeling Happiness>
After reading this, you might think:
“So is this about being content with what you have?”
The answer is both yes and no.
For me, I’ve chosen a way of living where I “appreciate what I have, and still aspire for more.”
Desire itself isn’t bad—it can either bring happiness or suffering depending on how it’s used.
In many cases, desire driven by a sense of lack is painful and can even become destructive.
Instead, I focus on what I already have, feel happiness in the present, and then move toward what I want.
That’s what feels like a fulfilling way of living for me.
Even now, I still have dreams and hopes.
But I now see them as means, not ends.
I ask myself:
“What do I want to feel through this?”
Excitement?
Security?
Stimulation?
Stability?
I try to identify the deeper, essential desire beneath the surface.
That’s why “feeling” is so important.
If you can’t feel, then even when your wishes come true, you may not experience the very emotions you were seeking—and you’ll remain unsatisfied.
Let me share a recent experience.
After starting my own business, there was a period when I had no clients at all.
I kept thinking,
“How happy I’ll be when my first client finally comes!”
I waited eagerly—and then, finally, my first client arrived.
I had been preparing diligently every day, so I was able to start my course with confidence.
I was deeply moved:
“I can’t believe someone would pay me for something I offer.”
“I can bring joy to others just by sharing what I’ve learned from my own experiences.”
It was an incredible feeling.
…but a few months later,
that initial excitement settled, and I noticed a new feeling emerging:
“I want more. More.”
And it felt… painful.
That’s when I paused and asked myself:
“What did I want to feel by doing this work?”
The joy of learning.
The happiness of being helpful to others.
The fulfillment of having a life’s work.
As I reconnected with those feelings and truly experienced them again, the sense of struggle quickly disappeared.
Humans forget easily.
No matter how important something feels, we can lose sight of it surprisingly fast.
That’s why I’ve come to realize how important “habits” are.
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<Habits to Cultivate the Ability to Feel>
To live happily, the ability to feel is essential.
Because happiness is something we feel.
Right now, I’m working on developing this ability through practices like a “five senses exercise” and a “gratitude journal.”
For the five senses exercise, I take a few minutes each day to focus on my senses and write down what I notice—smell, touch, taste, hearing, and sight—about one line each.
It takes about 3–4 minutes.
When you try it, you start noticing things like how even a quiet room is filled with subtle sounds. It makes you realize how much we usually overlook our senses.
In modern life, we’re surrounded by information and tend to rely heavily on thinking, while using our senses, bodies, and emotions less and less.
As a result, we lose touch with what we’re feeling and what we truly want to feel, which can lead to a lingering sense of dissatisfaction.
That’s why I intentionally create time to feel.
As for the gratitude journal, I write down ten things I’m grateful for every day.
I started about six months ago, and it has been far more effective than I expected.
To be honest, I wasn’t interested in it at all at first.
I believed gratitude should arise naturally, not be forced into a routine.
The turning point came when I joined an online community after developing back pain.
The organizer suggested me to try the gratitude journal for three months.
About two months in, one day while washing dishes, I suddenly thought:
“Wow… I’m so grateful for my hands.”
I remember being surprised at myself, like,
“Wait—did I really just think that?” (laugh)
From that moment, small moments of gratitude began to increase in my daily life, and gradually, I started to feel more happiness.
It was a powerful example of how “starting with form can lead to genuine feeling.”
Thinking back, I remember the household altars and Buddhist shrines at my grandparents’ home.
People in the past had daily habits of expressing gratitude and prayer.
Now I realize that those were forms of wisdom for living a happy life.
Letting go of the belief that “I’ll be happy if…” has helped me find more happiness in everyday life and made life much easier.
It also helped me understand the importance of feeling and gratitude.
I plan to continue these habits, deeply experiencing happiness along the way, while steadily making my dreams and hopes come true 😊
Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end!